Reflecting on 5 Years of Sobriety and Personal Growth with JT

"The hardest part of separating yourself something from something that's not good for you, is that part where you have the courage to admit that it's not good for you."

Join JT as he reflects on a significant milestone: 5 years of sobriety from alcohol. JT shares insights into the challenges and triumphs of breaking free from unhealthy patterns, drawing parallels between ending a toxic relationship and separating from alcohol. 

Consequence of Habit was born out of a desire to make these big moves - and now, JT has navigated the complexities of recognizing unhealthy behaviors: he prioritizes long-term well-being over short-term fixes. In this episode, he talks us through the discomfort of change, the allure of familiar habits, and the courage needed to embark on a path of personal growth.

Don't miss this chance to reflect and move forward with #consequenceofhabit.

• Transcription

  JT 0:00

  Alright, buddy, I'm going to jump on here. And I want to be struggling with this one a little bit on on how he's going to approach this conversation with you. But I'm gonna just throw it out there and see what happens. Back in early this month, February 4, I hate my five years of no alcohol. And I was trying to decide how to go about putting that out there. Because to be honest, I'm not.

  Alright, ladies, gentlemen, this is JT and welcome back to the consequence of habit podcast, this one's gonna be little different. I do these solo ones every every now and then. I say it every time that it's not something I'm really comfortable with. But I'm going to put this one out there. I've been struggling a little bit on how to how to address this next message. And what I was going to say about it. February 4, earlier this month, I don't know when it's going out. So maybe this is in March, I'm not sure I hit five years of, of no alcohol. I didn't want to put that out not not for a couple different reasons. And we're gonna get to that here in a second. But first off, I'll say that I didn't want this to be about alcohol, I didn't want it to be about me. It's just it's a milestone that I'm personally proud of. But I'm not quite sure that it's not quite sure how I wanted to go about communicating that I didn't want it to be about five years have to be completely honest, I'm way more impressed with somebody that that five days or five months smacked me, especially five months, from sustaining from something that that was causing them harm, right, there was something that was negative for them. So I decided I'm gonna, I'm gonna try something, I don't have no idea if this is gonna relate to everybody, I have no idea if this is people are going to get what I'm about to say to you. So but I'm gonna give it a go. I want to take the word, watching me out of it, right. And I want to take the word alcohol out of what I'm saying here. And I want you to, I want you to think about something that you are currently doing, that you don't want to do anymore. Or maybe it's something you've already been able to separate yourself from. So it's, so instead of using alcohol use that thing, or even better, let's use a person I want you to, I want you to think about a relationship. Now, instead of that thing that you're either trying to not do or you don't do anymore. I want you to make that a relationship with a person. Right? Because where I see the similarities is, when we first meet somebody, there might be this, this feeling we get this excitement makes you feel good. But over time, that relationship may change. It no longer is something that makes you feel good. It's just become you become codependent on it, you know, there may be some aspects of it that are still positive, and you cling on to those but in reality, overall, that relationship is not, it's not good for you as unhealthy as a toxic relationship. And that was my relationship with with alcohol. And it's the relationship that some people have with alcohol or, or like I said, whatever that thing is. And the reason I didn't want to make a big deal about five years, even though it is a big deal, I don't want to minimize it. But to me personally, it's a big deal. Because the hardest part of separating yourself something from something that's not good for you. Is that part where you have the courage to admit that it's it's not good for him. Right? And then also the courage to to no longer have that thing your life, right? So we know that ending relationships is not easy. Like a lot of stuff usually has to happen, especially when you have been with this thing or this person for extended period of time. That's the hardest part is to say, I no longer want this person in my life. Even though we have a really long history. We go way back and we've had a lot of fun together. There's been a lot of pain. There's been a lot of suffering, but we we still make it work somehow. But your gut tells you deep down and you knew probably for a long time they had gut telling you that this thing isn't this relationship overall isn't healthy. And not just that I see I mean this person have relationships with other people. And it's not healthy. It's taking things from it's taken money, it's taken time, it's compromised relationships, it's at the end of the day, it's made you and other people feel like shit about themselves. So but even with that said, it's that initial breakup is the hardest part. Because then you got to admit not just yourself, but to everybody else, that this person is no longer going to be in your life anymore. But there's going to be times when I talk about those five days, five months, where your day is not going great, things aren't good, not feeling good. And you want to call that person up. And you want to say hello, and you want to rekindle that thing, because you want to feel good. You don't want to be in pain, you don't want to be anxious, you don't, you don't want to be uncomfortable. So when I say that, that I'm proud of five years, I mean it. But I also think back to five days after that breakup, I think back to the first 30 days, or 90 days, and really that whole first year. And that's where that's where the it really gets uncomfortable. Right? That's the part that your old way of doing things, they want to come back. You want to lean on that person. Because you feel awfully alone, even though you might have people around you. So that's, that's, that's kind of the reasons I wanted to, I was trying to find a way to not make this about alcohol. Because it's alcohol was just my poison. We all have them. And I also thought about something, we this, this whole five year thing really had me contemplate the things that we do, and why we start them. And where do things switch from being something that's fun, something that makes you feel good, to something that makes you not feel bad. Because there's a difference, right? There's being uncomfortable and using something not to be uncomfortable. But in the beginning, it doesn't start like that. It starts off as something like, Hey, this makes me feel just good. It's all happy. But nothing. Everything's got that price of admission. And if we keep doing that thing, your body's keeping track, it knows that this thing makes you feel good. And what is the opposite of pleasure, it's pain. So when we're in pain, we're going to use that thing. Which got me thinking even further that how do we evaluate something? How do we evaluate? How do we know that this thing that we started doing is starting to flip? And the answer is we do know, we do know, we know before we start something or even maybe the first time we do it that then if I think long term, if I if I project the way that this is going to turn out down the road, that it very well may not be good, right? We know that the way that maybe social media likes, make you feel about yourself. That that if we continue down that path of of technology again, you add that person you substituted for that person, this person makes me feel good. But I start to see that there's something else going on here that my gut is telling me that this isn't good for me long term. Well, I got news for you. It is probably not. It's not. So the answer is how do we know we know? We know. And we also know because other people have gone through this whole experience of trying these things. We know if we know we know, some of our Blaney obvious, you know, if you try you know, pain pills over a period of time that's going to switch it's not about it's not about pain anymore, or maybe it is what but it's about not being it's about numbing ourselves and not feeling feeling your pain. It's it's a part scrap that part. That part doesn't make any sense. Because we know before we do something, we know the difference. People have been through these things. You don't have to look very far to find people addicted and feeling like crab about themselves because of everything at our fingertips. Right? All these these fast dopamine, enhancing inducing things. We know what they do to us long term, but yet somehow we find ourselves in these same situations, right? If we know if we eat fast food every day that our health is going to be shit. And so we shouldn't be surprised.

  So one of the biggest things we're trying to do is bring awareness that bring awareness to that the impact of these habits have, and we know that the things that are going to make us feel sense of purpose, to make us feel pride, to make us feel good about ourselves. Aren't the things that make us feel good, instantaneous? So I want you to think about that. I want you to think about your relationships, again, on us using relationships as a metaphor for anything. But I want you to think about before you get involved with a thing, or a relationship. Is this something that if I spend more than two seconds to think about? Is it something that's inherently going to be good for me? And not just for me, just for my loved ones? And maybe one way to think about it is do what I want somebody I care about doing this thing on a regular basis? Because for whatever reason, a lot of times we care about other people more than we even care about ourselves. Right? Like when I when I drank on a daily basis. If somebody said, Hey, would you want somebody that you love and care about to drink on a daily basis? Well, the answer is no. I wouldn't. I might hang out with them because I won't I'll feel better about myself. But but the reality is I wouldn't want that for somebody I love. And I don't think you would either. Again, whatever that thing is, would you want somebody in a relationship that makes them feel like crap about themselves? Now so I'm kind of all over the place. This This thing's been wrapped around my head and I wasn't even sure where if I was going to record this if I was going to do this thing, but but here I am. I don't know. At this point. I don't even know if I'm going to put this out but I hope somebody gets something from that. That's it. I'll catch you guys next time.

  This show is brought to you by the team here at consequence of habit and is an arm of our 501 C three nonprofit. Your show is produced and edited by the one and only Anthony Palmer is part of the palm tree pod company network of podcasts.